Licensed Contractor Human Hoodie
Licensed Contractor Human Hoodie
Fit: Oversized, boxy β runs large. Want it trimmer? Size down one.
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Hoodie Details
Hoodie Details
Oversized boxy fit with dropped shoulders β room to actually move in a kitchen Β· Midweight 80/20 cotton-poly fleece, around 8.5 oz Β· No drawcord β nothing to drag through the pan or the sink Β· Ribbed cuffs and hem hold their shape when you push the sleeves up Β· Front DTG print that softens with the hoodie instead of cracking
Shipping & Delivery
Shipping & Delivery
Production takes 3β5 business days.
You'll receive a tracking number as soon as your hoodie ships.
- πΊπΈ US: 3β5 business days
- π¨π¦ Canada: 5β8 business days
Business days exclude weekends and holidays.
Frequently Asked Questions
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I wash it?
Cold wash inside out, tumble dry low, no fabric softener on the print.
Fit Promise: made to order to our size charts. Misprinted or more than an inch off the size you ordered? Let us know within 7 days and we'll remake it for free. Size & Fit Guide β
Nobody licensed you. You just became the person who fixes everything β the leak, the shelf, the thing the landlord won't, the mystery noise at 2am. This is the badge for a job you were never officially given and somehow can't quit.
Licensed Contractor. Certified by nobody, trusted by everybody, on call 24/7 whether you like it or not.
You don't have a license. You have a toolbox that started with three things and now needs its own shelf, a mental list of everything in the house that's one bad day from breaking, and a household that treats "I'll take a look at it" as a binding legal contract.
Congratulations. You're the contractor now. This is your badge.
Built for the job, whatever the job turns out to be
The Licensed Contractor badge is printed direct-to-garment on the front, so it's part of the fabric rather than sitting on top of it. It softens as the hoodie softens instead of cracking off the first hard winter.
- Oversized boxy fit with dropped shoulders β real room to reach, crouch and work
- Midweight 80/20 cotton-poly fleece, around 8.5 oz β warm without the bulk
- No drawcord β nothing to snag on a nail, a drawer or a drill
- Ribbed cuffs and hem hold their shape when you shove the sleeves up
- Front DTG badge print that softens with the fabric instead of cracking
- A complete joke on its own β no second piece required
- Easy to gift: hoodie size is the only thing you need to know
- Matching pet hoodie available separately when you want the apprentice in on it
A gift for the person who fixes everything
If you're buying for the household handyman β the one who never gets thanked and never stops getting asked β this is the rare funny gift that gets worn on purpose. You need their hoodie size and nothing else.
Made to order, not mass-made. Printed just for you. And when a design retires, it's gone for good.
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