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Dogs are my love language Human Hoodie

Dogs are my love language Human Hoodie

$91.00

For the ones who don't just own a pet — they built a life around one.

Small, independent — not fast fashion Printed just for you. And when a design retires, it's gone for good.

Human Hoodie Size Chart

Measurements are in inches. This hoodie has a boxy, oversized fit with a drop shoulder — order your usual size, or size down for a trimmer look.

Description XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
Body Length from HPS 26.5 27.5 28.5 29.5 30.5 32 33
Chest Width 1" Below Armhole 22 23.25 24.5 25.5 26.75 28 29
Sleeve Length from Center Back inc Cuff Rib 35 36 37 38 39 40 41

Tip: Measure your favorite hoodie flat and compare for the best fit.

📐 How to Measure Yourself

  • Chest Width: measured 1" below the armhole, flat across the front — compare directly to the Chest Width row, no doubling needed.
  • Body Length: from the highest point of the shoulder (HPS) straight down to where you want the hem to fall.
  • Sleeve: from the center back of the neck, along the top of the shoulder and arm, down to and including the cuff rib.

📏 Fit Tips

  • Boxy, oversized fit: already roomy with a drop shoulder — no need to size up.
  • For your usual fit: order your normal hoodie size.
  • Want it trimmer? Size down one.
  • Best check: lay a hoodie you already love flat and measure armpit to armpit, then compare to the Chest Width.
  • Between sizes? The roomy cut means the smaller size still wears comfortably.
  • Made to order: allow about an inch (3cm) of natural variation.

Premium hoodie. Fit: Oversized, boxy — runs large. Want it trimmer? Size down one.

📦 On its way to you in 3-5 days. US delivery expect 6-10 business days and Canada 8-13 business days after production.

Made to Order Printed fresh
Tracked Shipping Follow your order
30-Day Quality Guarantee Shop with confidence
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Designed by a Pet Mom Who Gets It
  • Every design starts with a real joke between a real human and a real dog
  • Made to order, not mass-produced
  • Original artwork, designed in-house — you won't find it anywhere else
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Dogs Are My Love Language. Spoken fluently, daily, and mostly in a voice two octaves higher than my normal one.

You greet the dog first. You narrate their day back to them. You've turned the car around for a forgotten toy and you didn't even resent it. Every good day starts with a wet nose and ends with a warm weight at the foot of the bed, and honestly, that's the whole secret to a good life and you figured it out early.

People who don't have a dog think you're exaggerating. People who do are nodding right now.

Cut oversized and boxy with dropped shoulders — soft, roomy, and made to be leaned on, sat on, and covered in fur. No drawcord to get chewed. The graphic is printed direct-to-garment, so it fades and softens with the hoodie instead of cracking.

Fur is included at no extra charge. It arrives on its own.

Hoodie Details

  • Premium 8.5 oz midweight fleece — 80% cotton / 20% polyester
  • Boxy oversized fit with drop shoulder design.
  • Clean no-drawcord neckline, kangaroo pocket
  • 1x1 ribbed cuffs and hem, pre-laundered, tear-away neck label

Shipping & Delivery

Made fresh in 3-5 business days. Expect delivery to US in 6-10 to Canada in 8-13 business days after production.

Business days exclude weekends and holidays. You'll receive a tracking number as soon as your hoodie ships.

🚚 Flat rate shipping — $6 US / $8 CA. Free on orders over $49.99.

Frequently Asked Questions

What sizes are available?
We offer sizes XS–3XL in a relaxed, oversized fit. Check our Size & Fit Guide for exact measurements before you order.

What's the fabric like?
Soft, breathable cotton designed for everyday comfort.

Will this fit me?
Our hoodies are cut oversized and boxy — made for that relaxed, lived-in fit. Check our size guide before ordering to find your perfect match.

How long will it take to arrive?
Every hoodie is printed fresh when you order — no warehouse stock, no mystery inventory. Here's what to expect:

  • US: delivery 6-10 business days
  • Canada: delivery in 10-13 business days

Please allow 3–5 business days for your hoodie to be made. You'll get a tracking email the moment it ships.

How does it hold up to washing?
Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. The DTG print is built to last — no cracking, no peeling, no fading after a few washes.

🐾 30-Day Quality Guarantee — damaged or misprinted, we fix it.

Tell us within 30 days of delivery and we'll arrange a free reprint or store credit — whichever works best. Because every piece is made to order, we can't offer returns or exchanges for change of mind or self-selected sizing errors. Shipping charges are non-refundable.

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