Do Pets Know They're Family? How Pets Feel When Included in Family Events

Your pet already thinks they're family. Here's why it matters.

Treating pets as family members isn't just a cute idea for the holiday card. For most dogs and cats, being included in family events, from Sunday brunch to Christmas morning, shapes how safe, connected, and content they feel.

You've seen it. The dog who parks himself in the middle of the gift-wrapping chaos. The cat who suddenly needs to sit on the board game. They aren't being nosy. They want in.

So, do pets actually know they're part of the family? And how do they feel when we include them? Let's dig into what researchers have found, the signs your pet loves being in the mix, and simple ways to bring them into your traditions (without stressing them out).

Do dogs know they're part of the family? What the science says

Research suggests yes: dogs and cats form real social bonds with their people, and those bonds look a lot like family attachment.

Dogs: the "puppy eyes" bond is real

In a well-known 2015 study published in Science, researchers in Japan found that when dogs and their owners shared long, mutual gazes, oxytocin (often called the "bonding hormone") rose in both the human and the dog. Hand-raised wolves didn't show the same effect, which hints that this two-way bond developed as dogs became our companions.

In plain terms: when you look at your dog and your dog looks back, you're both getting a little chemical hug. Researchers have compared the pattern to the bond between parents and babies, though they're careful to note it wasn't tested as a direct match.

Cats: not as aloof as their reputation

A 2019 Oregon State University study in Current Biology adapted an attachment test originally designed for human infants. About 65% of cats tested showed secure attachment to their person, meaning they used them as a safe home base to explore from. That's roughly the same rate seen in babies and dogs.

The science on cats is still debated. An earlier 2015 study found little evidence of secure attachment, so researchers haven't fully settled the question. But the newer findings back up what cat parents already know: your cat notices when you're around, and it matters to them.

What this means for family events

Pets don't understand "Thanksgiving" or "birthday party" the way we do. What they do understand is their people gathering in one place, the smells and sounds of the group, and whether they're part of it or shut away from it. For a social, securely bonded pet, being near their people during those moments is the point.

Sources: Nagasawa et al. 2015, via Scientific American · Vitale et al. 2019, via ScienceDaily · Potter & Mills 2015, PLOS ONE

Signs your pet loves being included

Your pet can't tell you they had a great time at the family barbecue, but their body language can. Here's what a happy, included pet tends to look like:

• Loose, wiggly body. A relaxed dog moves softly, with a neutral or gently wagging tail. A relaxed cat has soft eyes, a slow blink, and a tail held up or loosely curled.
• Choosing to stay close. They hang out near the action on their own terms, checking in with you and then wandering off to sniff around.
• Playful invitations. Play bows, zoomies, toy deliveries, or a cat batting at ribbon are all signs they feel safe enough to have fun.
• Easy eating and resting. A pet who naps in the middle of the party is a pet who feels at home.
• Greeting guests calmly. Curious sniffing and a quick hello, then back to their spot, means they're comfortable with the crowd.

At our house, Millie (our Frenchie) treats every family gathering like it was thrown in his honour. Cooper, our Cockapoo, prefers to supervise from the couch. Both are "included" in their own way, and that's the goal: in the room, on their terms.

7 ways to include your pet in family events and traditions

Including pets in family events doesn't need to be complicated. Small rituals add up to a pet who feels like part of the pack.

1. Give them a seat at the table (sort of). Set up a bed or mat near where everyone gathers, so they're part of the scene without being underfoot.
2. Make holiday stockings and birthday treats for them too. A pet-safe chew or a new toy unwrapped on Christmas morning makes them part of the moment. Skip the table scraps: many holiday foods, like chocolate, grapes, onions, and cooked bones, are dangerous for pets.
3. Bring them into family photos. Pets in the annual holiday photo is one of the easiest pet-friendly family traditions to start, and it's the photo everyone actually wants to see.
4. Plan pet-friendly outings. Pumpkin patches, patio brunches, beach days, and Christmas tree farms often welcome leashed dogs. Call ahead to check.
5. Give them a job. Greeting guests at the door, "helping" open gifts, or carrying a toy in the backyard parade gives dogs a role and burns off excited energy.
6. Keep their routine steady. Feed and walk them at the usual times, even on busy days. Predictability is what makes new situations feel safe.
7. Dress the part, if they enjoy it. Matching family outfits are a fun way to show the whole crew belongs together, for pets who are comfortable in clothing (more on that below).

When "included" becomes "overwhelmed"

Treating your pet like family also means knowing when they need a break. Loud music, new people, and kids running around can be a lot, even for social pets.

Watch for these stress signals:

• Dogs: lip licking, yawning when not tired, tucked tail, pinned-back ears, "whale eye" (showing the whites of the eyes), panting, or trying to leave.
• Cats: hiding, flattened ears, a twitching or puffed tail, crouching low, dilated pupils, or hissing.

If you spot them, quietly move your pet somewhere calm. Set up a "retreat room" before guests arrive, with their bed, water, a favourite toy, and maybe some soft music. Ask guests, especially kids, to let the pet come to them instead of reaching for them.

Inclusion is about choice. The happiest pets are the ones who can join the party and leave it whenever they want. If your pet seems anxious at every gathering, it's worth talking to your vet or a certified behaviourist.

Matching family and pet outfits: the cutest way to say "you belong"

Your pet doesn't know they're wearing a matching hoodie. But you know, your family knows, and everyone who sees the holiday card knows: this pet is family.

Matching family Christmas hoodies with your dog or cat have become one of the most-loved ways to make pets part of the celebration. They're built for photos, they spark joy at every gathering, and they turn "the dog" into "one of us" in a single frame.

If you try it, keep it comfy for your pet:

• Size for fit, not guesswork. Measure chest, neck, and back length before you buy. A good fit lets them walk, sit, and play freely.
• Look for stretch. Soft fabric and elastic sleeves/cuffs help clothing stay put without pinching.
• Introduce it slowly. Let them sniff it, reward them with treats, and start with a few minutes at a time.
• Take it off if they're not into it. Freezing, scratching at the fabric, or refusing to move means it's photo-only (or not at all) for this pet.

At FluffnCo, every matching set is designed as a two-sided conversation between you and your pet, with a premium hoodie for you and a pet hoodie with elastic sleeves/cuffs and a leash hole for them. Browse our Matching Family Christmas Sets and use our Pet Size Guide to find the right fit for every member of the pack.

FAQ: pets as family members

Do dogs see their owners as family?

Research suggests dogs form strong attachment bonds with their owners. Mutual eye contact raises oxytocin, a bonding hormone, in both dogs and people, a pattern scientists have compared to parent-child bonding.

Do cats bond with their owners like dogs do?

Many do. A 2019 study found about 65% of cats showed secure attachment to their owners, similar to dogs and human infants, though researchers still debate how cat bonds compare.

Do pets get sad when left out of family activities?

Pets can't understand an event the way we do, but social pets often show stress or frustration when separated from their people. Signs include whining, pacing, or destructive behaviour.

How can I include my dog in Christmas?

Give them a stocking with pet-safe treats, include them in the family photo, keep their routine steady, and set up a quiet retreat for when the celebration gets loud.

Is it okay to dress my pet in matching family outfits?

Yes, if your pet is comfortable. Choose the right size, soft stretchy fabric, and introduce clothing gradually with treats. Remove it if your pet seems stressed.

The bottom line: they're family because you make them family

Pets may not know what a holiday is, but they know who their people are, and they feel the difference between being part of the group and being shut out of it. Including your pet in family events, on their terms and at their comfort level, strengthens a bond science says is very real.

So this season, save them a spot by the tree, put them front and centre in the family photo, and maybe, just maybe, match your hoodies.

Ready for your family photo? Shop Matching Family Christmas Sets for you, the kids, and the furriest member of the family.